Do I Believe? Part Two:

Hello To All:

At the time of my conversion (the fall of 1982), I was 35 years old. For those 35 years, I was a reprobate and a sinner amongst sinners. I did not think of myself, in those ways; rather, I very definitely thought more highly of myself than I ought to have thought. I was selfish and self-centered. I had a keen mind and was reasonably successful, regarding the world's view of what life in the west should be. But, I was lost and empty; and I sensed this, deep in my being; but, I tried to ignore this reality, by indulging in the things and pleasures of the world. One of the practices, that I was very successful at, was doing and saying things, in a way that caused people to have a high regard for me, and to think highly of me. This, result, seemed to ease the deep emptiness, that was the driving force of my life. But, that "ease" was only temporary. It never lasted. There was always the search, for something more, for something to conceal the reality of who I was.

In the early years, I had even convinced myself that I was a Christian; and participated in a local church; and taught Sunday school; and even preached from time to time; and even thought, that someday I might be a minister. But, not many years after high school, I left all that behind. As I look back on those times - one thing stands forth, in a very dramatic way: No one ever taught me about Jesus. I was a practicing Christian - only, in outward appearance. Inwardly, I was still lost and without hope, in a world that offered only temporary relief, to the empty shell, that was the very essence of who I was!

Then, in 1982, everything changed. The Jesus, that was not known by me, demonstrated to me, in an absolutely certain manner, that: He is the Christ - The Son of the Living God! My life was changed, for all of eternity. Jesus, not only revealed Himself, for the truth of who He is; but, He did His great work of conversion; and He brought me to Himself; and I knew, with absolute certainty, that from that moment, and for all of eternity: I now belonged to Jesus! We then, together, entered into a journey, that has taken me to diverse places and into diverse circumstances. The journey continues - even, at this very moment!

From the first moments of our relationship, I had a sense, not as deep as it is today, but, nonetheless, I new that my life was no longer my own: I belonged to Jesus Christ; and since I belonged to Jesus, it also became clear, that He would and should direct the course of my life. He is the Master; and I am the servant.

This grand relationship, of Master and servant, of Creator and created, of Redeemer and redeemed, of King and subject, of Potter and vessel, of the Most High God and one whom He has adopted as His son: has consequences! These consequences are glorious consequences! Jesus has directed my travels, sending me from one city to another. Once He instructed me to travel by motorcycle, on a journey that lasted for one year and 22,000 miles. He has purposed for me to come along side, those in need; and He has empowered me to bring hope to some of those, encountered on this journey. He has given me a wife and instructed me to marry her (and I did - thank you Jesus). Some of those diverse places, have also been dangerous places; but, He was there, with me, and He brought me safely through. Someday (and I have often considered this - especially in these later years - as the work becomes more difficult), Jesus may decide to take me into that difficult and dangerous circumstance of martyrdom; and, I know, with absolute certainty, that He will bring me through.

The thought of martyrdom is pretty heavy-duty; but, even as you read this, many, in diverse parts of the world, are suffering and joyfully giving up their lives for the sake of Jesus Christ. Thus, we shall take another pause, in this testimony, and give ourselves time to ponder and examine our own relationship with Jesus Christ.

Until next time, my beloved brethren, I continue to be:

Your servant and your fellow pilgrim,
Elder Theophilus